Derek
Being gay forced me to be extremely disciplined
Derek and I became quick friends after meeting seven years ago through a mutual friend. However, we never really dug into our specific career goals and work ambitions until this conversation, which shed a lot of light for me in what experiences have shaped my friend in his path to success.
Currently, Derek is a consultant at Parthenon, the strategy consultancy arm of EY. Consulting has been his only full-time endeavor even after a summer business school internship at a healthcare company. He prefered consulting’s coverage of a variety of industries, which keeps things interesting for him, allowing him to stay motivated. “When I get bored, I get lazy,” Derek explained.
Even in his hobbies, Derek sets goals for himself so he can track his progress and stay motivated. For example, in trying to be more “cultural,” Derek sets a goal of doing one cultural activity per week.
A lot of Derek’s discipline today, he attributes to being gay and attending a military high school. The two factors made him extremely sensitive to how others perceived him, causing him to control his behavior and reel in his true personality at an early age. Growing up in a conservative environment, he was told gay people were not good and this propelled Derek to try to achieve as much as he could, to prove that he could still be good in other regards if not in his sexuality. This discipline, he believes, has been fundamental in his current path to success.
Derek’s parents’ divorce also influenced his perception of success as he learned the importance of self-reliance and maintaining control over your own schedule. He defines success in his career as having autonomy over his own time and always learning new things, while providing positive impact to others, mainly through management. Outside of his career, Derek is still figuring out success for his personal life. He knows broadly that he wants a stable relationship, children one day, and a home he can call his own.